As your child’s advocate, it is important that you understand what is going to happen at the hospital. Learn everything you can about your child’s illness, medical treatment and hospitalization. Ask questions of the medical team so that you can answer your child’s questions.

Being informed will help ease anxiety and improve your ability to support your child.

Being honest and talking to your child before a visit to the hospital is the best way to support them. Choose a quiet time with limited interruptions to talk with your child.

When choosing the best time to have a conversation, use your child’s age as a guide.

• Age 5 and under: Talk to them 1 to 2 days before coming to the hospital so they do not worry over multiple days.
• Ages 6-11: Begin talking about the hospital about 1 week before admission.
• Ages 12 and older: Teens should be included in the discussion about their healthcare as early as possible.

When talking to your child about what will happen at the hospital, honesty is essential. Use your child’s age as a guide to how much and what types of information they may need.

• Focus on telling your child what they will actually feel, see, hear and smell during their visit.
• Pay close attention to your child’s cues so they do not feel overwhelmed. Behaviors such as looking away or changing the topic indicate that a child does not want more information.
• Encourage your child to ask questions and always answer their questions directly and simply. Remember that some children may need multiple discussions to feel comfortable.

If you are unsure how to answer your child’s questions, please seek support from the medical team.

The words you use when talking to your child about medical experiences can affect how they think and feel about the hospital. Providing simple, positive language can help a child feel less scared.

• “Sometimes bodies need extra help to work the right way.”
• “At the hospital, the doctors and nurses have lots of special tools to help bodies heal and work better.”
• Use “soft” words rather than “hard” words to describe things your child may experience. “Sleepy medicine” instead of “puts you to sleep;” “warm” instead of “hot;” “camera machine that takes pictures of your insides” instead of “X-Ray.” 

There are many age-appropriate books that show pictures of hospitals, equipment and medical helpers available to help your child learn about the hospital.

Many children can feel that being in the hospital is punishment for something they did. It is important to reassure your child that their medical treatment is to help the body heal. Emphasize the positives of hospitalization.

Allow opportunities for your child to talk about their concerns or worries about going to the hospital. Some common fears of children and teens include: 

• Being left alone
• Experiencing pain
• Changes to their body
• Fear of dying or not waking up
• Loss of control

Reassure your child that it is normal to feel afraid, frustrated, angry, worried or sad. Listen and validate any fears they express. Provide outlets for and encourage them to positively express their feelings using activities such as coloring, playing with modeling clay, journaling or art.

Give your child the opportunity to plan which comfort and/or play items they would like to take to the hospital. A special blanket, favorite toy, stuffed animal, pillow or photographs can provide much comfort to a hospitalized child.

Practice coping strategies with your child to use at times when they feel scared, such as:

• Breathing deeply
• Telling stories
• Singing aloud
• Squeezing your hand
• Listening to music
• Counting

The child life specialists at Kentucky Children’s Hospital can serve as a resource to help you and your child understand medical tests and procedures and cope more positively during hospitalization. For more ways to help your child, please contact our child life specialists at 859-323-6551, or email KCHChildlife@uky.edu.